Trivial Matters

My willpower has not been strong enough to keep me from the book. Yes, my homework and the final papers are still getting done, but as I lay in bed I’m drawn to finish filling in the holes of the Ender Saga.

I’m just about halfway through it, and Ender is still on the colony ship heading to the first world. The synopsis on the dust jacket indicates that the action takes place after he leaves that world, so I have to imagine that the pace will pick up. It has been years since I read the first four books, but I do remember their pace was distinctly slower than that of the Shadow series.

Reading Exile also draws up personal feelings of regret. I don’t want to compare myself to Ender, but I do wonder what I would be like if I had subjected myself to the military command life (i.e. attended a military academy and become an officer) rather than enlist under the circumstances that I did. In our current war, my hands have been tied by the Army such that I can’t use my skills and abilities to help win. Would it be different if I had chosen the other path? More importantly, would it really matter?

This weekend is my drill weekend, and I’m hoping that a resolution will be reached soon to either unbind my hands (as it were) or allow me to bow out gracefully, content that I did all I could. Perhaps allowing myself to become fully imerced in my studies (without trying to balance a military career) would allow me to help my country in other ways.

In the end, all of my speculation is academic. Events will unfold in one way, and one way only, and no amount of steering on my part can guarantee any outcome.

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